This is the time of year that even great couples are looking for a relationship reboot. Most of us want to start the spring season out fresh and that includes our relationships.
We came up with 5 clues you’re ready for a relationship reboot and we posted the first clue here…
Here’s Clue #2…
Ready for a relationship reboot: Clue #2
You’re willing to start seeing beyond what’s happened in the past
Okay, this is a big one because most of us are like Jacob Marley in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. We drag the chains of past hurts, grievances and regrets along with us throughout life and according to Dickens, even after death.
What we know to be true is that you don’t have to do that!
Dragging the past around does not protect you from future hurt even though we all seem to think that it does.
All it does is separate us from others and erect walls that keep out love.
Dragging the past around causes us to stay in a destructive loop and react in ways that hurt ourselves and others.
Now this doesn’t mean you keep making the same relationship “mistakes” over and over without learning from them.
It means that you know that the past has no power over your present or your future.
When you truly know that, you can be totally present to what’s happening right now.
A couple we worked with recently are starting over after a breakup and what’s been key for them is that they are “Starting Over.”
They’re working out how they want to now be in their relationship and letting go unreal expectations they made up in their minds about how the other SHOULD be.
You might say something like this…
“I know I need to let go of the past but my thoughts keep pulling me back.”
When clients say something like this, we remind them that thoughts come and go and we don’t have to believe them all. We can choose which ones to allow to live in us.
You don’t have to know all of this to be ready for a relationship reboot.
You just have to see a glimmer of possibility.