If you're like most people, you've probably gotten caught up in this relationship trap at least once in your life--especially if you're a woman...
You worry that you aren't pretty enough, thin enough, or desirable enough to hold a man and keep him interested over the long haul.
Well, if that idea hasn't been debunked many times before, Tiger Woods blew this myth straight out of the water and here's why...
Several years ago, Otto was talking to his personal trainer yesterday while he was working out and of course the conversation got around to Tiger Woods and his alleged affairs.
Monica, his personal trainer, said that the big question her other clients had was why in the world Tiger would ever cheat because his wife Elin was so thin and beautiful.
Why would he go elsewhere when he had such beauty at home?
Good question isn't it?
A lot of people (especially women) fall into the trap of thinking that "If I were more attractive, a better lover, a better whatever that I'd never have anything to worry about when it comes to my man cheating on me."
It simply wasn't the case with Tiger and his beautiful wife Elin.
He apparently went elsewhere because beauty alone wasn't enough to hold him to faithfulness in his marriage.
Now of course we don't know the inner workings of his relationship with Elin and we won't claim to know the real reasons (right or wrong) that drove Tiger to cheat.
What we do know is that being pretty and thin doesn't insure faithfulness over the long haul.
We bring this up because so many women tell us they are not pretty enough and become jealous and worry about someone more beautiful, thin or younger stealing their man away.
We know that keeping a relationship alive, juicy, connected, loving and monogamous through the years is so much more.
There are, of course, various reasons people cheat or emotionally "drop out" of their relationships to try to get their needs met that are much more important than beauty and the size of one's body.
When you really get down to it, when you "check out" of a relationship, in whatever way you choose to do it, you aren't getting your needs met.
You may not choose to cheat, as Tiger did, or have an emotional affair but there are other ways to check out of your relationship...
**Allowing yourself to get so busy that there's no time to connect with each other
**Allowing work to become the most important thing in your life
**Shutting yourself down from emotional connection
Even if you consider yourself soul mates when you first got together, if you don't keep doing the things that attracted you to each other in the first place--and looking for new ways to love each other--chances are your relationship will lose its specialness over time.
If you quit admiring, appreciating and loving each other for who you each are, you leave the relationship wide open for one or both of you to seek it elsewhere.
This admiration and appreciation has to be genuine even while it's mixed with expressing healthy boundaries and speaking your truth as you grow together.
For some, no amount of admiration and appreciation will keep him (or her) faithful.
That may be true in Tiger's case.
But if you're feeling like your relationship could use a little spicing up or you may think it's in trouble because you're not pretty enough or thin enough or even young enough...
Turn your attention toward your partner and look at what you once admired and appreciated about each other.
Start looking for instances when these traits re-appear--and then let your partner know how you feel.
You may not want to be the first to start the appreciation/admiration ball rolling but if you do, there may be a huge shift that happens that can change your life forever.