A little known truth is that as humans, we often tell ourselves lies to make sense of our world and call it reality.
We lie to ourselves about people, situations and “the way things are” and call it truth.
These “lies” can be just simply a misunderstanding about the way we think things are and they aren’t.
They can be our way of coping with situations, people, pain, misunderstandings, and things we wish were different.
These lies can paint a false, glowing picture of ourselves and others or it can be a dark, fearful one.
One of the lies Susie told herself when she was younger and in her previous marriage was this…
How emotionally unaware her husband at that time was verses how in touch with her emotions she was.
It was like she’d put him in a box that she labeled “emotional dunce” and that it was her job to “do” his emotions for him.
Many years later, with Otto’s help, she discovered that she’d been telling herself the lie that she was emotionally aware–when she actually wasn’t!
She saw clearly that her habit was to what she called “jump over her feelings” into fixing whatever she thought was wrong.
She often buried her feelings and even would deny negative feelings she didn’t want to acknowledge.
These lies kept her from the intimacy and love that she wanted.
They kept her stuck pretending things were fine when they really weren’t.
They kept her from a true connection of the heart (hers and others) that she later realized was possible.
As we later discovered, the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves and others are simply our thinking that we believe in a given moment.
And that cam change in a heartbeat.
Our thinking can be different from moment to moment and that is a huge revelation and understanding to finding more peace in our selves and in our life.
We don’t have to believe everything we think!
One of the tricks to having the best love and life possible for ourselves is to notice when we are believing thoughts that aren’t true.
Susie realized that she didn’t have to believe her thoughts that told her she couldn’t express or even acknowledge feelings that she labeled as negative like anger, sadness, or fear.
She didn’t have to believe the thought that she had to immediately jump to “fix” whatever she perceived as “wrong” for everyone, especially those she loved.
In fact, that actually pushed them away.
When she slowed down and didn’t launch into “fix-it” mode, she could feel her emotions and be honest about them–to herself and others.
Not believing the lies she told herself opened doors to greater love and connection and it can for you as well.
These “lies” that we tell ourselves don’t have to be a driving force in our life.
We can get wise to when were telling ourselves lies and when we are fixated on an untruth.
We can see through those thoughts for what they are and let them disappear into the ethers.