It’s almost hard to believe but Susie’s grandsons are both graduating next month–one from college and one from high school.
As we think about both graduation ceremonies and all the students getting their diplomas, we can’t help but apply our insights to relationships and life.
In today’s complex world, those diplomas are just the “price of admission” to the land of possibilities.
We also think that just as a high school or college degree and a diploma to hang on your wall are very impressive, they don’t guarantee you success, happiness or even a job.
Attracting a new love into your life, being in a “committed” relationship or being married are all things that many
But they do not guarantee you intimacy, a happy relationship and a happy life.
There’s a little more to it than that and that begs the question that you might be having right now…
What do we do and what do other couples who manage to keep the spark alive and make their love last do to make this happen?
It’s what we call being an “irresistible invitation to love.”
One way to do that is to change your focus
Awhile ago, we stumbled on the old 1989 film “The War of the Roses” starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.
The main characters had what appeared to be the perfect married life together–beautiful, opulent house, great job, plenty of money–but as the years rolled by, you could see how the husband ignored his wife and even belittled her.
It’s no surprise that they were headed for a divorce which was what the “war” was about.
Now this was supposed to be a comedy but we didn’t think it was very funny because of what we see couples doing every day (and we did in previous relationships)that mimic this film.
They don’t focus on increasing intimacy and what we’re calling an “irresistible invitation to love.”
So what does it mean to change your focus?
We’ll give you a very simple example from our lives…
A couple of mornings ago, Otto washed the dishes in the sink from the day before while Susie was still in bed. Instead of thinking that he “should” be doing something like that, she was grateful and texted him “Thanks.”
It’s just a simple change of focus–from “you should” to noticing what the other does and saying “thanks.”
That’s what was really missing from the fictitious Rose’s marriage–They seemed to love each other but the focus of their marriage shifted away from love and ended up in hate.
So whether you’re currently in an intimate relationship or not…
What’s your focus?
Are you an irresistible invitation to love–no matter what relationship you’re currently in?
For most people, if they answered honestly, their answer would have to be “no.”
You don’t have to be like us and have a relationship like ours to be an irresistible invitation to love.
But the person you want to become irresistible to has to feel it.
It can’t be fake, be manipulative or happen once in a while.
It comes from a genuine place inside you that’s pure love.