We just received a pretty common question about when a partner is jealous and we thought we’d give our suggestions in the hopes that any one in this situation can be benefited by them.
Here’s what our reader asked about when a partner is jealous…
“HE is driving me crazy!! He goes through my mail and goes through the scroll down on the computer to see the sites I have gone to. I run a daycare and LITERALLY every dad, grandpa, uncle, and yes, even moms he accuses me of cheating wtih. I not only have 2 kids of my own but the daycare kids too. Does he think I am going to do something in front of them? I have never cheated but at this point, I feel as though I am being treated worse than if I did. Our daughter is 3, he is like a step dad and has been there all her life. I am afraid if I leave him, she will never get to see him and if she does, he will tell her dad to start problems. Our son is 2 and I know he will drag me through court for custody. They have money and I don’t nor do I have much support. PLEASE SOMEONE WRITE ANYTHING YOU THINK WILL HELP. He even has his mom and dad who live a block away look down at our house to be sure nobody is here”
The first thing we’d tell you is to slow down and breathe! You have been caught up in a frenzy of thought and you have to calm your mind so that you take action from a very grounded place.
It sounds like you are making up a lot about what may or may not happen if you leave this man. So bring yourself into this present moment and address what’s happening right now.
There are some questions that you could ask yourself if your partner is jealous:
1. Does he admit that he has a problem with jealousy and if so, is he willing to get help to overcome it?
2. Is this environment healthy for either you or your children to live in if things don’t change?
3. What are your fears about leaving your situation? Talk with a friend, therapist or coach about how to help yourself move on if you determine that you don’t want to live like this any longer and he won’t get help.
Our best advice is to start sorting out your options and determine if you want to continue living the way you are living. Take a stand for how you want your life and your children’s lives to be!