Have you ever been triggered by something that, in reality is no big deal or not even real?
We mean triggered, really bothered and upset by something that in the grand scheme of this thing called your life is not important at all...BUT...when you think about it--it just makes your blood boil.
And it might not even be true!
We both have had things like this happen to us...
Just the other day, Susie's computer which is 5 or 6 years old, wouldn't turn on. Otto had been warning her that it was dying because it kept overheating and shutting down...but she didn't want to deal with buying a new computer.
Well he got a chance to say "I told you so" without really saying it!
Susie went through all kinds of thoughts like...
"Ugh--I hope the data can be saved!"
"Why didn't I paid attention to Otto and take action sooner!"
"I don't like it that he was right!"
But then Otto came to look at the computer and saw that the power cord was disconnected and it had happened when he tripped over it the night before.
The computer then did turn on and the data is salvageable which is a big relief.
And Susie's now taking action and buying a new computer.
Not only are situations like this tricky to deal with because you have your thoughts and emotions to deal with that may or may not have anything to do with reality...
They can also play havoc with any relationship where someone has done something that has triggered you... (especially with someone you're close to.)
In this small example, we could have really turned it into a big argument over literally nothing...
But we didn't.
Sure the thoughts came but we didn't have to act on them.
We each took an energetic step back and look at the situation from a broader perspective where you can find the love and compassion for yourself and for your partner.
Next time you get upset, triggered and really bothered by something...
Here's how you handle upsets with love and grace...
1. Recognize that your thoughts are just thoughts and may or may not have any truth to them.
2. Take a breath, calm yourself and don't act from your angry triggered place inside you.
In fact, don't act at all until you know what's really going on.
3. Bring compassion for yourself and your partner and look for what you want rather than for what you don't want.
We're all human and getting triggered about something is natural.
But you don't have to let it run your life and ruin your relationships.