Handle Upsets, Triggers and Tricky Situations (with love and grace)

handle upsets

During this time of Covid-19 shut-down and re-opening, tempers are flaring.

A friend was standing in line waiting to get into a store in 90 degree heat and two people started shouting over one of them getting too close and not wearing a mask.

People are frustrated, angry and what might seem common sense to some has become an intense violation to others.

Have you ever been triggered by something that, in reality may not be a big deal or not even real?

We mean triggered, really bothered and upset by something that in the grand scheme of this thing called your life is not important at all...BUT...when you think about it--it just makes your blood boil.

And it might not even be true!

We both have had things like this happen to us...

Awhile ago, my computer which was 5 or 6 years old, wouldn't turn on.

Otto had been warning me that it was dying because it kept overheating and shutting down...

But I didn't want to deal with buying a new computer.

Well he got a chance to say "I told you so" without really saying it!

I went through all kinds of thoughts like...

"Ugh--I hope the data can be saved!"

"Why didn't I paid attention to Otto and take action sooner!"

"I don't like it that he was right!"

But then Otto came to look at the computer and saw that the power cord was disconnected and it had happened when he tripped over it the night before.

The computer then did turn on and the data was salvageable which was a big relief.

And I then took action and bought a new computer.

Not only are situations like this tricky to deal with because you have your thoughts and emotions to deal with that may or may not have anything to do with reality...

They can also play havoc with any relationship where someone has done something that has triggered you... (especially with someone you're close to.)

In this small example, we could have really turned it into a big argument over literally nothing...

But we didn't.

Sure the thoughts came but we didn't have to act on them.

We each took an energetic step back and looked at the situation from a broader perspective where we could find the love and compassion for ourselves and for the other person.

Next time you get upset, triggered and really bothered by something...

1. Recognize that your thoughts are just thoughts and may or may not have any truth to them.

2. Take a breath, calm yourself and don't act from your angry triggered place inside you.

In fact, don't act at all until you know what's really going on.

3. Bring compassion for yourself and your partner and look for what you want rather than for what you don't want.

We're all human and getting triggered about something is natural.

But you don't have to let it run your life and ruin your relationships.

If you're triggered and upset and it's become a problem in your relationships--and you have a question, contact us here...

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