How to Have Effortless Influence With the People in Your Life

Otto’s son was in a bad way.

He’d wanted a different job for awhile but nothing seemed to be working out for him.

In his current job, he’d been making little more than minimum wage and because they hadn’t replaced people who’d been let go…

He’d been doing the work of 3 people in addition to what he’d been hired to do–and was very stressed.

Because he’d gotten a second interview with this other company, he was hopeful…

But the interview didn’t go well.

Through his anger, frustration and tears, he pleaded with Otto…

“Just tell me what to do.”

As a parent, you want the best for your child and while it was tempting to tell him what he thought he should do…

Revise his resume, spruce up his appearance, get better recommendations…

Otto didn’t do that.

What he did do was be an effortless influencer.

He sat on phone for an hour.

He listened and he loved, gently pointing him to what was deep inside him…

The well-being that’s always there inside all of us.

As parents, we often think we have a better plan for our children’s lives…

In fact, when we want to influence another person in a certain direction, we often think we have a better plan than they do.

And while that might look like it’s true…

The truth is that you can’t know what’s best for another human being.

If you want to effortlessly influence someone, the most important thing is that you show up fully and completely without a “fix-it” agenda.

That’s what’s happened in our relationship.

Making healthy food and exercise choices are much easier for Susie and harder for Otto.

In fact, our friend once told Otto this…

“If you want to be healthier and look better, whatever Susie does, you do that.”

But if Susie had said, “Ok this is what we’re going to do for you to lose weight and get healthy…” (followed by a string of “rules” for healthy living that he already knew anyway)

It wouldn’t have gone well. Otto’s stubborn and wouldn’t put up with any of that.

But neither does anyone else.

No one likes to be told what to do to “improve” their life!

What Susie did do was be an invitation to love, to listening and to helping when he asked.

Thirty-five years ago the great influencer and speaker Zig Ziggler said on a recording about parenting that children will do what you say until ages 2 or 3 and then they do what you show them.

This is not just good advice for you with your kids but also in being an effortless influencer with anyone.

If you try to tell others how to live, how to be, what’s best for them…

It’s not going to work. They’ll probably get defensive, shut down and push you away.

But if you’re open, grounded in love, appreciation, caring, kindness, consideration and compassion…

And actually ask if they want help…

All kinds of things can happen that you never imagined.

Your family will notice, your children, spouse or partner, people at work and if you’re trying to get a promotion at work, the boss is going to notice.

Are there guarantees the person will be influenced to act or be the way you want?

Of course not…

Has Otto’s son found another job that he likes better?

Not yet, but what he has found is a little more peace to keep putting one foot in front of another.

Has Otto found healthier ways of living his life?

Actually he has and is making healthier choices on a moment by moment basis.

The important thing here is that they are HIS choices, coming from inside him.

Today we invite you to be an effortless infulencer of love.

If you have questions about how this might work in a situation you have, contact us here.

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