Any conversation can turn ugly and messy if you don’t handle it right and today we give you 3 tips for handling sticky conversations and what to do instead…
One of the most uncomfortable feelings you could ever experience when you’re in a relationship or marriage (especially when you’ve been together a long time) is…
When you feel like you can’t say what you think or how you feel.
You can feel unbearably alone and…
It just sucks the life out of you and your relationship.
There are plenty of reasons when you may not feel like you can open up and be honest with your partner or summon the courage to ask for what you want.
But, if you want to have a healthy relationship–asking for what you want in a way your spouse or partner can hear it is something you’ll want to practice (even if it’s uncomfortable) .
If you can’t talk to your partner in this way, you not only feel disconnected from them but we’re guessing that you are also angry and upset (even if you don’t want to admit it–even you yourself.)
So, what’s the solution?
How can you say what’s on your mind and in your heart without fear of what your partner might say, do or how they might react?
How can you really talk to your spouse or partner without either of you getting angry, hurt or defensive?
In a nutshell, it’s 3 things that make the difference when you’re communicating with someone important to you (isn’t that everyone?)…
It’s your mindset, your strategy and the words you use.
Here’s an example of these 3 communication tips in action…
Pretend that you’re fed up with your partner’s lack of attention but you know that if you say anything, you’ll start a fight and make it worse.
What do you do?
First–Tackle your mindset
Before you say a word, you have to tackle your mindset that says he or she will never change and it will always be this way.
You have to open to the possibility that things could get better between the two of you.
And it starts with you softening your approach toward him or her and seeing even small results.
Second–Change your strategy.
Whatever you’ve been doing that hasn’t worked (like withdrawing, complaining, arguing or manipulating), try a different strategy.
Formulate in your mind what it is that you really want.
If you want more attention from your partner, what might be something tangible you can ask him or her instead of veiled complaints about what you’re NOT getting.
This is a strategy change that can really make a difference to your and your partner’s happiness in the relationship.
Third–Change the words you use.
We created a free video called “Magic Relationship Words” that give you examples of what to say to get it “right” every time like the following…
Compare this sentence (and the way it’s said)…
“You’re never romantic! How about dinner out and a bouquet of roses every once in awhile!”
“I’d love to have some time alone with you this weekend. Would you be willing to set aside some time for a special date night together?”
As you read both of these, we’re sure you can feel the difference and if you can feel it, your partner will also!
If you’re afraid to say what you think or what you feel, don’t stay frustrated and don’t say or do something you’ll come to regret later.
Again, the 3 steps we just talked about are:
Change your mindset, change your strategy and change your words.
Use our 3 communication tips and create the relationship you’ve always wanted.
If you’re finding it difficult to speak your truth because you’re afraid that you might make things worse, check out our “Stop Talking on Eggshells” program.