Any conversation can turn ugly and messy if you don’t handle it right and today we’re giving you 3 tips for “unsticking” sticky conversations for more understanding and love.
One of the most uncomfortable feelings you could ever experience when you’re in a relationship or marriage (especially when you’ve been together a long time) is…
When you feel like you can’t say what you think or how you feel without a fight.
You can feel unbearably alone, hopeless and…
It just sucks the life out of you and your relationship.
There are plenty of reasons when you may not feel like you can open up and be honest with your partner or summon the courage to ask for what you want.
But, if you want to have a healthy relationship, speaking from the truth of who you are in a way your spouse or partner can hear is something you’ll want to practice (even if it’s uncomfortable) .
If you can’t talk to your partner in this way, you not only feel disconnected from them but we’re guessing that you are also angry and upset (even if you don’t want to admit it–even to yourself.)
So, what’s the solution?
How can you say what’s on your mind and in your heart without fear of what your partner might say, do or how they might react–especially around certain topics?
How can you really talk to your spouse or partner without either of you getting angry, hurt or defensive?
In a nutshell, it’s 3 things that make the difference when you’re struggling with having sticky conversations with someone important to you…
It’s your mindset, your approach and the words you use.
Here are examples of how to put ease into sticky conversations…
Pretend that you’re fed up with your partner’s lack of attention but you know that if you say anything, you’ll start a fight and make it worse.
What do you do?
First–Look at your mindset
Before you say a word, you have to look at your mindset that says he or she will never change and it will always be this way.
Or maybe you’re saying something else to yourself that closes you down.
Open to the possibility that things could get better between the two of you.
And it starts with you softening your approach toward him or her and seeing even small results.
The truth is that if your thoughts are steering you into attacking and being defensive, this is what you’ll get in return.
Second–Change your approach.
Whatever you’ve been doing that hasn’t worked (like withdrawing, complaining, arguing or manipulating), try a different approach.
Find out what you REALLY want.
If you want more attention from your partner, what might be something tangible you can ask him or her instead of veiled or sarcastic complaints about what you’re NOT getting.
This is a change in approach that can really make a difference to your and your partner’s happiness in the relationship.
Third–Change the words you use.
We created a free video called “Magic Relationship Words” that give you examples of what to say to get it “right” every time like the following…
Compare this sentence (and the way it’s said)…
“You’re never romantic and we’re not intimate anymore! Would it kill you to touch me every once in awhile!”
“I’d love for us to be close like we used to be. Could we just sit and cuddle for awhile?”
As you read both of these, we’re sure you can feel the difference and if you can feel it, your partner will also!
If you’re afraid to approach sticky conversations and to say what you think or what you feel, don’t stay frustrated and don’t say or do something you’ll come to regret later.
Again, the 3 steps we just talked about are:
Change your mindset, change your approach and change your words.
Use our 3 communication tips and “unstick” those sticky conversations