One of the tricks to getting unstuck from a stale relationship is to first recognize where a stale relationship comes from.
It’s not the other person.
It’s the fact that you’re stuck in a loop of thinking that is seeing the relationship and your connection stale, boring, uninteresting, lifeless and in many cases, loveless.
The truth is that any relationship can go through a “stale” phase, where one or both people are tired of doing the same things together (or apart), having the same conversations (or none at all) or the same way of making love (or having no intimacy at all).
When this happens, it’s tempting to blame the other person but it always comes down to where the stale feeling is coming from–and that’s inside you.
–Your thinking about the other person
–The way you see life
–How you see yourself
You’re having “negative” thoughts that you’re repeating on a regular basis, making them real and living from those thoughts that you’re calling reality.
Now that doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t come home and sit hypnotized in front of a screen all evening.
That’s real.
What holds you back is the loop of thinking that it’s all hopeless, you don’t have a choice and it’s all about you.
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One couple we know had fallen into a pattern that had become boring to both of them.
They had forgotten how to have fun together.
They had forgotten that they both liked to take walks in nature and watch the birds, identifying them as they went.
Their relationship was renewed when they spiced it up with spontaneous and planned dates together, doing what they loved.
Between their trips in the woods, they studied about birds and they decided to take up photography together so they could capture the beauty of what they were seeing.
Birding or photography may not be your thing but what can be a place to start is being willing to see your partner and the relationship in a new light.
The truth is that each one of us is always changing and when we only see the other person as stagnant, we miss an opportunity to open to deeper connection and love.
While it can be that you may want something totally different from your partner from your life and your relationship…
It may also be that when you discover what lights you up again, your relationship will liven up as well.
Allow life to fill you up and see what happens!