Because we help people clear up relationship challenges and have more loving relationships, we’re sometimes asked about “love languages.”
While it is interesting to look into individual preferences and it can be helpful to understand your differences…
We have a different take on the subject–something that goes even deeper to the core of who we are.
The only love language that really matters is what you believe about your thinking that pops into your head about the other people in your life, about yourself, love, possibilities, abundance, and about everything.
The “language” you use (in other words what you believe about your thinking that you call reality or the way things are) is the whole game in life.
It determines everything.
Most of us are blind to this fact most of the time.
And when we see this about ourselves, about other people, about situations, about what’s important to us and why, it changes how we interact with them.
For most of us it might be helpful if we actually had a BS detector that would go off every time we’re believing something that isn’t true (or we don’t know is true) about ourselves, about our partners, the other people in our lives or situations we’re faced with.
If we were to be able to see the truth about our thinking and about other people and situations more clearly more of the time, we would certainly come from a place of love, understanding, have more patience, and be much better people, spouses, lovers–more of the time.
The trick to allowing this “love language” to be in every interaction with yourself and with others is to see the creative potential of your thinking is running the show.
And that we make a lot of it up!
We make it up and then we communicate and treat others in ways that push them away and cause struggle.
Here’s Susie’s story about forgetting about this love language…
The other day, a neighbor told Susie about a neighborhood black dog that had jumped the fence and ran after her. Susie immediately accused the black dog that lived at the property behind us because already, she had it “in” for this dog.
It barked constantly when he was outside and had bitten a utility person who’d entered their yard a couple of years ago.
Susie even went so far as to urge the neighbor that she should go to this dog’s owners and tell them what had happened.
A few days later, we were eating on our screened in back porch and saw that the other neighbors a few doors down from us had a black dog and a considerably low fence that could easily be jumped.
And this dog was confirmed to be the culprit!
Susie then realized that her outrage toward the innocent black dog (and his owners) was created by an untrue story she told herself and kept it going in her mind.
This is what we all do.
We all create stories and live from those stories without realizing that they are ruling our interactions and keep us from enjoying our relationships and lives.
Become aware of the only love language that matters for a more loving, peaceful and happy life.