Why Men Don’t Care About Making Women Happy (and Other Destructive Love Myths)

angrywoman700In another post, we gave you 4 ways that the two of us use to recapture love every single day and we also talked about our program for women “Hypnotize His Heart” and one for men, “Light Her Up.”

But somehow the one for men wasn’t what triggered people.

There were several women who read the title of our “Hypnotize His Heart” program and mistakenly took that to mean that THEY were the only ones in the relationship who would (or should) be making any changes to make the relationship better.

Because of this assumption, many women started asking us questions like…

“Why should I be the one to do all the work in this relationship?”

“Why shouldn’t HE be the one who wants to love me and cherish me more?”

“After all I do for him and after all he’s done to mess up our relationship, why isn’t HE learning how to hypnotize me?”

Another woman told us that…

“Men don’t care about making women happy!”


Women are tired of thinking they have to do ALL the work in their relationship.

And we certainly don’t think they should!

In fact, we believe there should be more ease, love, play and fun in all relationships.

What we know is that you can’t get there by believing and focusing on destructive love myths.

Let’s look at some of what we’ve learned from past survey results and working with many men and women in Transformative Coaching…

1. In general, a man does want to make his woman happy but for many, there are blocks and barriers inside both people that don’t allow this to happen.

It might be that either the man or woman didn’t choose their partner wisely. (It looked like a good deal at the time but now it’s not what you thought it would be.)

It might be that the woman has a difficult time allowing happiness in. She might have a very narrow definition of what happiness looks like and believe that her man has to act a certain way for her to be happy.

It might be that the man hasn’t learned the relationship or communication skills to show his love in ways she can appreciate and he’s ashamed at his failure.

2. We’ve learned there are ways to talk to each other that open even the most stubborn person and bring ease to a situation.

In our research in our own relationship, we’ve experimented with many ways to talk to one another–some better than others.

The point is that there are a myriad of ways to communicate and connect and if you keep repeating one way that doesn’t work, you’ll continue to get the same dismal results.

3. Even one person can make a big difference in allowing more love to flow in a relationship–and it doesn’t mean giving yourself away.

It could mean deciding not to hang on to resentment and anger from what happened in the past if it’s not happening right now.

It could mean being honest with yourself and your partner about the relationship–listening to what you want and what he/she wants.

It could mean letting go of the tug-of-war rope that the two of you have been struggling against for maybe years by simply not engaging in the battle.

It could mean choosing love and not war, knowing that you always have a choice as to how you’re going to live your life and who you’ll spend it with.

It’s actually much less “work” to choose love (and we don’t mean being a doormat) than it is to hold onto resentment.

It’s your choice in this moment.

If you’re a woman, we highly suggest that you get your copy of “Hypnotize His Heart” right now

If you’re a man–we highly suggest you get your copy of Otto’s program for men called…“Light Her Up.”

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