The Role of Control in Love, Relationships, Business and Life

It’s Otto writing and I have a question for you…

It’s a question that’s really important (especially in these crazy times we’re living in right now…)

The question is…

What are you trying to control in your life?

Even if you aren’t aware of it, I’m 100% certain that you’re trying to control something.


I’m also 100% certain that what you’re trying to control (even if you were to actually be able to control it)…

Will NOT give you what you’re looking for.

Control is simply a “strategy” that you, me and millions and millions of other people try to use in many ways every single day to try to get what we want and it NEVER works.

Here’s why…

The whole idea of control is based on this faulty premise…

“If I could just control this situation, this person, and what they’re doing,then I’ll be happy, at peace, safe, fulfilled or whatever else I want.”

The problem with control is always that you’re hoping something “out there” is going to make you feel good and give you what you want “in here.”

And it never works.

It’s impossible.

Our good or bad feelings aren’t created from “out there.”

They’re created from what we’re thinking that we believe “in here” –inside us.

I even try to control myself in certain areas of my life and it simply doesn’t work.

So, the biggest question of all on the topic of control is not whether you’re trying to control things in your life or not…

The biggest question is…

“What am I hoping that control will give me?”

This is a question that can only truly be answered when we stop, slow down and truly invite the answer to emerge from within.

Of course, there are many, many answers to this question that could come forth that would be superficial…

But to really examine this question at its depth, at its core, to really seek what you’re looking for when control is being tried as a strategy, ask yourself this deeper question…

“What else am I hoping that control or controlling this person or this situation will give me?”

And ask the question again and again until you get to what you finally, really want–what you ultimately hope that control or controlling will give you.

And then, look and see if there’s any hope of anything outside of you that could ever give this to you.

What I think you’ll find is that it can’t give you what you think you want.

Nothing can.

This is because what you are looking for, what you are hoping for, seeking earnestly and truly wanting can never be found “out there.”

I think you’ll find that what you ultimately are looking for has been only and always inside you all along.

You just forget this most of the time.

We all do but you can remember it and come back to love.

If you’d like to talk with Otto or Susie about control issues, click here…

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