July 16, 2014

How to Live Through Life's Big Changes and Not Ruin Your Relationships...

detourmed.jpg Have you ever moved, got married (or gotten divorced), had children, coped with a serious illness or taken on a new job or career?

If you said yes to of these things, then you know that ANY major life event can change you and your relationships forever and most of the time it does.

Sometimes life events change you in small subtle ways and other times, you're changed in much bigger ways.

The latter is the case for us during the last two months as we moved our home (and lots of stuff) and offices to another part of our town.

Throughout this process, we learned or re-learned some big "Ah Ha's" and here are a few...

Continue reading "How to Live Through Life's Big Changes and Not Ruin Your Relationships..." »

June 17, 2014

What Dad Wanted That We All Want...

cartoonpeopleheart140.jpg Sunday was Otto's first Father's day without his dad because he passed away on Otto's birthday last year.

Also, there's been a lot going on in our world lately.

For the past few weeks, we've been in the process of selling our home and since our house sold in 5 days--as you can imagine, we're getting serious about where we're moving next when the moving truck gets here in a couple of weeks.

Because of all the upheaval, Otto wasn't sure how he would celebrate his dad, but he decided to make the two hour (each way) trip to see his mother yesterday.

To honor his dad, he and his mom chose to have dinner at his father's favorite place to eat (2nd to McDonald's of course) which is the Golden Corral.

If you're not familiar with it, the Golden Corral is one of those "all-you can eat" places and there's not much there that we'd put on the "healthy eating" list.

Regardless-Otto and his mother still went and even though it's a buffet, neither one ate very much.

They talked mostly about Otto's dad and what he meant to them and what they remembered and missed the most.

As Otto thought about his dad on his way home, he couldn't help thinking about how his father had changed over the years and how especially over the last one or two years of his life, it became VERY clear that he wanted (more than anything) what we ALL want.

And that was...

To know and feel that he was loved.

That's what we all want...

To know and feel that we're loved (especially by the people closest to us).

In fact, during the last year of Otto's dad's life, he'd close every telephone conversation with the same question...

"You love me, don't you?"

Even though, we'd repeatedly tell him that we loved him, he wanted one last confirmation of it before he hung up the phone.

Just like Otto's dad, we all go through all kinds of gyrations and shenanigans to try to get the people in our life to show and tell us that they love us in a way that we can really feel.

And sometimes our attempts to get love backfire on us and end up pushing those we love away.

If you're not getting the validation that you're important to your loved one and you want more, here are 3 tips to consider before you do the same things over and over that end up sabotaging your relationship...

Continue reading "What Dad Wanted That We All Want..." »

June 09, 2014

When you think your partner’s the one with the communication problem…

couple frowning.jpg Have you ever thought you were being clear in your communication but your partner’s the problem and your relationship keeps going downhill because of it?

When even very small differences get blown out of proportion and you can’t even have a simple conversation without misunderstandings and hurt feelings, it’s time to stop and look at how you’re both communicating—and change it up.

Here’s what one man wrote to us about his experience with our “Stop Talking on Eggshells” program and what he learned to revitalize his marriage…

Continue reading "When you think your partner’s the one with the communication problem…" »

May 28, 2014

In times of relationship stress--3 ways to come back to love

forsalesign150.jpg For the past 3 weeks, the two of us have been clearing and cleaning our home to getting it ready to sell--and what a process this has been!

It's not only what we've accumulated in the 7 years we've been in this house but it's also been all of what we brought with us from our years of being on this earth.

Not only has it been physically and emotionally challenging moving out "old stuff" we've hung onto (talk about attachments!) but also, we've hit all kinds of emotional hot buttons between the two of us as we've had to make big and small decisions.

Just like you, in times of stress we aren't at our best!

But time and time again as we've gone through this process, we've practiced the fine art of coming back to love--and that's how we've kept our relationship strong, growing and passionate through the years, whether it's during times of stress or relative calm.

If stress, uncertainty and unease are pulling at the two of you, here are 3 ways we use to come back to love because believe it or not (and even though, like us, you probably don't want to hear it), these times can be the richest...

Continue reading "In times of relationship stress--3 ways to come back to love" »

May 17, 2014

Re-igniting Spark and New Life for Empty Nestors...

omegaws160.jpg There is no rule that says that when your children grow up and move out that your empty nest must lead to grief, sadness, and depression.

Both of us have been empty nestors (Susie, many years ago when her daughter left for college and both of us, when Otto's son moved out after college) and we know that there can be mixture of feelings--sadness, emptiness, worry, with a little bit of relief and wondering what's next all jumbled together.

But what we've both found is that an empty nest can open new doors, including many positive changes in parenting, as well as your relationship with your partner, that come when your children leave home.

Now is the time to stop, take a break, and reflect on what you’ve achieved so you can tune back in to yourself and decide what’s next.

The two of us are so excited and honored to have been asked to teach at the Omega Institute, July 4-6, 2014 about how to keep the spark alive during this time of change as part of a program called "Beyond the Empty Nest."

Whether you are single or married, this workshop offers you a chance to talk to other parents who are going through, or have gone through, this transition.

Listen to leaders in the field and get motivated and excited about your own dreams and desires for your next great adventure.

Learn tips and tools to process the past and celebrate the future, including ways to re-ignite the spark in your love life, renew friendships, and engage in other roles and new ways of living so you can truly enjoy the benefits of this
next stage of life

In this workshop, we're excited to share practical ways to re-connect and re-enliven your relationship and to be teaching with Natalie Caine, MA, who is the founder of Empty Nest Support Services, which guides people through the joys and challenges of a new life chapter.

If you've never been to Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York, you're in for a refreshing treat! We were participants several years ago and we loved the relaxing, rejuvenating setting and were absolutely delighted by the delicious food. We highly recommend this as a learning and retreat experience.

To find out more and to register, click here

May 09, 2014

Why Men Don't Care About Making Women Happy (and Other Destructive Love Myths)

coupledistantsm.jpg Last week when we released our brand new program for women called "Hypnotize His Heart..."

Many women were excited by the possibility of learning some new ideas they could start using immediately to start "Hypnotizing Their Man's Heart" and they decided to go to the web site and order the program as soon as they found out about it.

But something strange also happened...

There were many women who read the title of our new program (Hypnotize His Heart) and mistakenly took that to mean that they were the only ones in the relationship who would (or should) be making any changes to make the relationship better.

Because of this assumption, many women started asking us questions (and thinking)
things like...

"Why should I be the one to do all the work in this relationship?"

"Why shouldn't HE be the one who wants to love me and cherish me more?"

"After all I do for him and after all he's done to mess up our relationship, why isn't he learning how to hypnotize me?"

Another woman told us that...

"Men don't care about making women happy!"

Okay--we get it!

Women are tired of thinking they have to do ALL the work in their relationship.

And we certainly don't think they should!

In fact, we believe there should be more ease, love, play and fun in all relationships.

What we know is that you can't get there by believing and focusing on destructive love myths.

Let's look at some relationship facts that we've gleaned from our survey results and working with many men and women in our Relationship Reverse Coaching...

Continue reading "Why Men Don't Care About Making Women Happy (and Other Destructive Love Myths)" »

May 01, 2014

How Doing "Nothing" Can Bring You More Love...

worriedwoman150.jpg It's crazy but some women are actually getting more love from their husbands, partners and boyfriends than they could have ever imagined by doing NOTHING...

Maybe you too have been trying all kinds of things to get your partner to give you the love and attention you really want but are getting nothing but stonewalling, apathy and resistance...

Like so many other women, you may think that getting a man to shift, change and give his heart, mind, body and soul to you is hard work (or even impossible) but what we’ve found is that it is not only possible--but doesn't have to be "hard."

In fact, inspiring his total love and devotion can happen if you’re willing to make a few subtle shifts in how you relate to your partner by actually relaxing, opening your heart more and doing less.

You see..

Despite what popular magazines, movies, tv shows and many internet sites suggest—being an irresistible invitation to love doesn’t have to do with age, the shape or size of your body, the texture or length of your hair, the clothes you wear or any other physical characteristic.

Being an irresistible invitation to love is about your energy.

Continue reading "How Doing "Nothing" Can Bring You More Love..." »

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Susie & Otto Collins




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Magic Relationship Words

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Stop Talking on Eggshells

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Should You Stay or Should You Go?

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