A toxic relationship can simply mean one that is harmful to one or both people in it but what’s “harmful” is subjective and can change from moment to moment.
There’s of course the toxicity of physical abuse which should never be tolerated but there’s also emotional abuse which can come in many forms.
The bottom line is that some relationships have become toxic because one or both people in them have thinking that is creating that unhealthy environment.
Its effects can show up in many ways from physical health issues to emotional ones and can lead to addictions of all kinds.
But it doesn’t have to be that way…
One of the tricks to knowing if you are in a toxic relationship or not and if it can be changed to a loving one can probably be summed up in few questions…
Is there any true or actual physical or emotional abuse going on in your relationship?
Are you and your partner willing to drop the contempt, resentments and judgments you have for one another and make a fresh start toward loving?
If you answered “yes” to the first question, please understand where we stand on this issue…
No one should ever have to endure physical or emotional pain or abuse of any kind in a relationship in an attempt to get the love they want.
So while “saving” the relationship is always important, it can be even more important to say “yes” to yourself and do what’s best for you.
If you answered “yes” to the second question…
Without blame and with an open heart and mind, ask yourself these questions…
1) How might you be contributing to the discord (and toxicity) without realizing it and what am I not willing to see?
2) Are you trying to make your partner into someone else–someone he or she doesn’t want to be?
3) Have you seen even a glimmer of evidence of connection between the two of you?
4) Do you truly want to be with this person or are you trying to convince yourself this person is the “right” spouse, partner or lover for you right now?
If you want to transform a toxic relationship into a loving one, it takes having an open heart about what’s possible without painting an unrealistic picture of the other person and combining that with deeply loving yourself.
Toxic relationships can change and it can also be for your best interest to let them go.