I’ve been a champion liar my whole life and the person I’ve lied the most to has been ME.
If you know me at all, you might think of me as someone who is full of integrity and honesty.
The truth is I’ve lied to others and lied to myself in sad and painful ways.
Some things I’ve said, done or thought are so bad they’ll never see the light of day.
They’ll never be revealed to anyone.
But, what I’ve found is…
You can lie to others and think they don’t know it, don’t see it, won’t feel it and sometimes you can get away with it. Most of the time–no matter how clever you think you are, they’ll see it right away.
Whether it’s a big time whopper of a lie or a tiny-weeny one, when you lie to someone else, you’re constantly asking yourself…
“Have they figured it out?”
“Do they know?”
“Can they tell what’s up with me or what’s going on?”
So you’re constantly on guard.
You’re always holding back with others out of fear — wondering…
What will they think?
What will they say or…
What would they do if they knew the truth?
What I’ve found is…
It’s bad when you lie to someone else.
It’s even worse when you lie to yourself.
I should know because I’ve done this a LOT.
A couple of examples include…
- When I say I want to lose weight and find myself driving through a fast food restaurant (again.)
- When I say I’m committed to growing my coaching business and I park myself in front of the TV to watch a football or baseball game instead of doing something to propel my business forward.
Or even…
- When I downplay, diminish or refuse to see my genius, my greatness or my value to myself or others.
As I’m thinking about how I’ve lied to myself up until now (and the costs), I’m asking myself a few questions like the ones below.
You may want to do the same.
My questions to myself I’m asking include:
How have I lied to myself?
How has it kept me small?
How have I tried to hide from the truth (that’s almost always visible both to myself and others)?
What story about myself or my life have I tried to protect myself from?
How would my life be better if I was just honest with myself?
And finally…
What if there was never anything to fear?
Nothing to ever hide from?
No reason to ever lie.
and what if…(as Byron Katie often says…)
The truth is always kinder than the story I’m making up about myself and my life?
At the end of all this lying…
The possibility exists that underneath all this lying to others and lying to myself is just the desire for
inner peace, love and understanding plus the ability to live my best life.
What if I just gave myself this gift of knowing that I didn’t have to lie to myself and I didn’t have to lie to others about who I am right now and what’s possible for me?
What if you did the same?
Just think of the possibilities.