Women can be a lot of things. They can be beautiful, kind, loving, sexual, caring, erotic, perfect AND then…There are other times when you wonder what in the world just happened. Everything seems to be going along just fine and one small thing happens and BAM.
She’s turned into a sharp-tongued woman!
Her temper blows up and she turns into the meanest, most unkind woman you could ever imagine and the worst part is–you don’t even know why.
If you’re a man who’s ever been with a woman when this has happened, you know what I’m talking about. When a woman’s rage explodes on you, you know that you’re no match for the “weaker sex” when she’s like this. You just want to find a place to escape and hide.
But you can’t because she’s your woman and if you make the wrong decision about how to deal with her in a moment or situation like this you know it could make matters worse. Much worse. You just hope that somehow this STORM blows over quickly and you can get back to “normal.”
So, what do you do?
How do you deal with a woman who’s lost her temper, is acting crazy, saying things that aren’t true or twisting your words around all over the place?
Like the situation THIS guy below just wrote in to me is faced with in his relationship with his woman…
Question from a reader>>>
“Hey Otto–
I just love this new newsletter you’re doing for us men. I don’t always know what to do to make my woman happy and you seem to make a lot of sense with what you say about these kind of things. I’m hoping you can answer a question for me.
I love my wife but my wife has a temper. Not only that but she’s got a really sharp tongue too. How should I react when she’s like this and what can I do to prevent it?” Name Withheld.
My Response>>>>
So, you’re married to “Miss Firestorm, eh?” Outstanding.
I say this is “outstanding” because being with “Miss Firestorm” with a “sharp tongue” can be both good and bad. Believe me, I’ve lived through this and to be honest, I still find myself in situations like this but nowhere near as much or as often as I used to.
Being with a woman like this can be a gold mine for a man because when a woman is like this, it shows that above all else, she cares. It may not always come off like she cares. But she does. That’s why the “sharp tongue.”
Being with a woman who has a sharp-tongued woman can also be bad because (to say this gently)…it doesn’t feel good to be talked to this way.
In spite of this fact, some women do have an incredibly sharp tongue and if you love her and want to stay with her– YOU are going to have to be the one to change if you want things to get better. But you’re not going to have to change in the ways that you might think.
As painful as it is for me to say this, I’m going to say it anyway…If your woman has a “sharp tongue” and it’s something that you’ve noticed more than once or twice and has become a regular occurrence, then the problem is YOU and NOT HER.
Please understand that I’m not saying that she isn’t doing anything wrong or that her behavior doesn’t need to change. Nothing like that.
What I am saying is if she’s had a “sharp-tongue” with you more than once or twice and it’s become a regular thing, happening on a regular basis then without even realizing it, you have trained her that it’s acceptable for her to talk to you with a “sharp tongue.”
And can you guess what the worst part is? She will continue to do it until you make her understand that treating you this way is not acceptable.
So, what do you do?
There are both things you have to do inside you and outside you to get her sharp tongue to calm down. The first thing you have to do is to do what I call “stop talking on eggshells.”
–>Need help saying “no” without guilt? Go here to find out how to stop talking on eggshells…
Talking on eggshells is where you don’t say what you think or how you feel in fear of how your woman might react, what she’ll say or what she’ll do.
The best advice I can give you on how to stop talking on eggshells with your woman is this…Go within yourself… find your center… get clear about what you want (and don’t want)…face your fears about what it would mean if you “spoke your truth” and said what you wanted in your relationships and life without holding back or biting YOUR tongue.
You have to let your woman know in a clear but direct and loving way that you’re not going to put up with a “sharp tongue” from her or anyone. You have to make it clear about what ways are acceptable to talk to you and what ways aren’t.
If your fear is that it will only make her upset or angry if you say what’s real or truthful for you, then guess what? She’s already not treating you with kindness and respect.
Don’t put up with it. Be firm. Be direct AND loving. But don’t let her or anyone treat you with disrespect.
For any man who’s reading this, there’s one more thing I feel like I must mention here…There’s actually a slim possibility that something happened along the way in your relationship that made her turn into a not-so-nice person and not be willing to shift or change no matter how much you love her.
This is a very small possibility AND there might be something else going on with your woman to cause her to want to treat you this way.
As crazy as it might sound, there is a strong possibility that your woman may be using her “sharp tongue” because that’s the best weapon she feels that she has to get your attention– to shift, change and drop more into being the man she sees in you that maybe you don’t see in yourself.
I’m not saying that this is the situation for sure but I’ve know many women who were so exasperated and angry that their men weren’t being ALL they could be that they were willing to try ANYTHING to get their man to find his true masculine essence. They were willing to do anything to push him to become more than he was showing in the moments of each day.
I invite you to do what I do when conflict, challenges and problems come up…I ask myself — How have I contributed to or helped create this problem or situation?
Have I listened to her to try to understand what she wants?
I have found that when you are open to the answers that come when you ask yourself a question like that, the answer you get may not be one you find pleasant or one you expected.
But when you ask powerful questions, the answers you get back will almost always be profound and can take your relationship to a deeper level.