If there’s one piece of relationship advice that’s absolutely true, it’s that life and relationships are all about change–and you have to deal with them.
And if you fight against it or deny it, you not only make your life miserable but your relationships suffer as well.
We all change physically, our work situations change, our relationships shift and change…
Our emotions and mental outlook change from moment to moment.
And yet we all still expect for things to stay the same!
In the last few months, the two of us have been going through a pretty big work-related change…
And what we’ve (re)discovered is that change is inevitable and it’s our thinking about the situation that determines our level of happiness and well-being.
A couple of weeks ago, we got a message from a young woman who had questions her relationship that had just become a long-distance one.
A big change for sure!
As we read her story, it became clear that she had a lot of negative thinking about distance relationships and her relationship in particular.
A lot of jealousy had popped up and she just didn’t believe her relationship would last.
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Now we know that not all of you have this particular issue but we’re guessing that you might be undergoing some changes right now that could be disrupting your relationships.
If so, here are a few ways we’re navigating the “change waters” that may help you as well…
How to Deal with your Relationship Changes
1. Check your thinking
It just seems to be natural for us humans to jump to the worst possible scenario when change happens.
Whether it’s an unconscious way of softening the blow if the worst really happens or some other survival thing in our lizard brains…
Creating a lot of thinking around the worst that can happen and focusing on it just creates more upset which creates more of what you don’t want.
We’re not saying to turn a blind eye to what’s really there for you to see.
We are saying to look at what’s there without stoking the fires of fear.
2. Keep the lines of communication open
Even though you might be a “private” person and your tendency might be to “handle it on your own”…
Keep your partner and loved ones in the loop about what’s happening with you.
That doesn’t mean you take every opportunity to complain about your situation or describe every low mood you have…
It does mean to let them know that you’re going through a change and what that means to you right now.
You might even ask for help, even if it’s just to sit quietly with you.
3. Get quiet and listen inside for your next right move
We’ve discovered that the answers are not outside but inside ourselves and we have to get quiet to listen to what’s there.
It could be that you’re drawn to pick up a book that will lead you to something else, that leads to something else that could open a brand new door for you that you never could have envisioned.
Change is always happening and it’s your thinking about the change that determines your quality of life and how much love is in your life today and always.