Is there such a thing as relationship bad luck?
Are some people just luckier at love than others?
When one relationship after another doesn’t work out the way you think it should, it might be tempting to think that you’ve somehow been cursed or you’re just plain “bad luck.”
You might even be tempted to give up–whether you’re currently in a relationship that could be a lot better or you can’t seem to make a relationship stick.
But there’s more to it than that.
Here’s what one woman wrote to us about relationship bad luck…
“Thank you for sharing all info to all your readers. I love reading what u shared. I guess I’m just bad luck 🙁 I’ve tried all ways to treat my man the BEST. But things still don’t work out. Sometimes just got to give up.”
Now if we were coaching this woman, we’d have a much better idea of her situation and could help her move forward to having a great relationship…
But what we can say with certainty is that no one is just “bad luck.”
In fact, we don’t believe in “luck.”
We know that we all have the same wisdom and love flowing through us if we allow it.
At the core of who we all are is innate health.
But you might be saying something like this…
“It still feels like other people are luckier in love and in life than I am!”
If you feel like you have relationship bad luck, here are a few questions to help you see a different perspective…
1. Are you treating YOU the best?
Often in “trying” to make a relationship work and being who you THINK your partner wants you to be, you lose yourself and you stop taking care of you.
Awhile ago, Susie had lunch with a friend who told her that her marriage was much better than it had been and they were in fact, planning a baby and to buy a house.
She told Susie that among other things, she had started focusing on taking care of herself. She’s exercising regularly, eating better by cutting down on the carbs and taking time for her (like having meals with friends like Susie).
By feeling better about herself, her marriage is improving and the same can be true for you when you start focusing on YOU.
2. Have you chosen wisely?
Most of us at one time or another make unwise choices of partners for any number of reasons.
They make sense in the moment…
(She’s sexy, he has a great job, he needs a mother for his children, she pays
attention to him and is fun)…
And the list can go on and on as you add your own faulty reasons.
The point is that if you’ve had a string of relationships that didn’t work out, instead of saying you’re bad luck, check in with yourself and see if these people were wise matches for you.
A friend of ours had a guy who she thought might be “the one” simply go missing and she didn’t know what happened.
She blamed herself and she blamed him until she realized that they weren’t really a match because they didn’t have the same financial goals and outlook on life.
Instead of beating yourself up for “failed” relationships, get clear about what kind of person would be a good match for you. Consider all angles of your life and who you are.
Don’t try to “fit in” where there’s really no fit.
And then choose more wisely the next time.
3. Do you need to learn some new skills (like communication) to move into connection when you disconnect and keep your love alive?
Part of the equation of creating a close, connected relationship is to learn the skills that will create what you want.
The two of us did just that after our previous marriages ended and we’re still learning and practicing new skills to keep our love alive–even when we shut down to one another.
Here’s one more question…
4. Is it time for you to give up on relationships (like our reader) or give up something else?
Instead of giving up on relationships altogether, we suggest that you give up blame, the belief that relationships always end for you and hopelessness.
We suggest that you embrace treating yourself “the best,” choosing wisely and learning some new skills that will take you toward what you want.