One of the ways to make sure low self esteem doesn’t hijack your relationship is to know that self esteem is made up and we’re the ones who make it up!
Our self-esteem seems to be torn down by critical self-talk or even how we perceive others see us.
It’s a label we put on the way we feel about ourselves and tends to make the low feeling even more exaggerated.
When we get in a low self-esteem funk, it’s certainly more difficult to connect with others in a healthy way because we shrink and don’t allow ourselves to show up in an authentic way…
Because we don’t believe we deserve to have what we truly want.
And when that happens, honest communication is non-existent and barriers to love are erected.
One of our teachers, Syd Banks, was a Scottish welder who lived and taught in the 1950’s (and beyond) and told this story about himself…
When he was a young man, he was talking with a co-worker and told him how depressed he was.
This co-worker said something like this…
“You’re not depressed. You just think you are.”
With that simple statement, Syd had the insight that he was creating his depression and keeping it going by his thoughts.
We would say the same thing about self-esteem.
We create it via our thoughts and then either feel bad about ourselves and shut ourselves off from others or not.
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Today, when you’re tempted to put yourself down or believe what you think others are thinking about you…
Stop and allow those thoughts to float away of their own accord because they will, if you don’t constantly bring them up and give them energy.
Noticing what’s going on inside you can help you see the mirage of it all.
Allow yourself to see that you are so much more than the thoughts you’ve been programming yourself to believe about yourself or that someone in your past has convinced you you are.
When you don’t believe in those limiting thoughts about yourself and act from them…
Your relationships can thrive and be filled with love.
Like Winnie the Pooh said–“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”