When your love goes bad and you don’t have the passion or connection that you want, there’s something really important you’ll want to “fix” first in your relationship.
What we’re talking about is TRUST.
And no, we’re not just talking about lack of trust as in the screaming, crying, thinking your love is over due to him or her cheating on you kind of trust issues.
We’re talking about a whole other layer of trust issues that are present in almost every relationship or marriage…
But most people don’t see them or realize they are there until it’s too late.
The kind of trust issues between two people we’re talking about here are things like…
- When either one of you doesn’t feel safe enough to say what you’re really feeling
- When you don’t listen to one another and you blame, jump to conclusions and react from what’s happened in the past
- When either or both of you aren’t kind and are critical when your partner needs love and support
If you want to rebuild love between the two of you, you have to start rebuilding this kind of trust first.
The level of trust we’re talking about to tackle first is allowing the space for each person to feel safe to share what’s true for him or her–whether you end up staying together or not.
For both of us in our previous marriages (20 years ago now), it wasn’t until we had reached a point where we felt we had nothing to lose that we were completely honest to share what was inside.
And strangely enough, our previous partners shared from their
heart as well.
At those moments of sharing, there was trust to be totally honest without the blame and judgment of the other.
Even though those marriages ended, it doesn’t have to be that way for you.
If you feel like your love is going bad, here’s what you want to do to build this kind of trust earlier than we did in those relationships so you don’t end up sitting across from a divorce lawyer in tears…
Take our advice when love goes bad and start building trust with each other now by…
- Stop automatically being critical, angry, or judgmental when your partner could use love and support instead
- Don’t jump to conclusions and interrupt but listen and find out more
- Create safety for your partner to tell you what’s truly happening inside him or her (and no, that doesn’t mean you have to agree)
- Look deeply inside YOU for what’s real and honest for you
If you need help, our Should You Stay or Should You Go? program can help you sort out your feelings so you can be honest with yourself and make your best decision possible.
If you’ve felt disconnected from you partner and you don’t know what to do to make it better, start building the level of trust we’re talking about here between the two of you.
You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain!