As Tom set his briefcase down on the table, he looked up and saw his wife Carla by the kitchen sink preparing their dinner.
At that moment, he realized he had a choice.
He could go to the kitchen and connect with her by looking in her eyes and telling her he’s happy to see her…
Or he could do like he’s done for years and say a quick hello as he passes through to his home office and to his computer.
They had both come to us for coaching because after 35 years, they felt empty in their marriage.
There hadn’t been any huge blowout fights but they had gone through the motions of two people living together without much connection or passion for many years.
The emptiness hit Carla especially hard because as she was preparing to retire from her teaching career, she was wondering if that’s all life was going to be like in the future.
She wanted more.
When we talked with them, they both told us they “loved” each other and wanted to stay married.
They just didn’t know where to start to rekindle the “in love” feeling they once had for one another.
As a first step, we talked with each of them about how we all act and react from either fear or love and explained what we meant about being an irresistible invitation to love more of the time.
And as we talked, they could each see where they had many opportunities to act from love toward each other more of the time.
Tom remembered that they used to take walks together in a nearby metro park several times a week but had gotten out of the habit.
He saw that he missed holding Carla’s hand and being in nature together.
He also saw that he’d been shutting himself off each evening in his home office after work and the toll this was taking on his marriage.
He saw that in a lot of ways, fear of rejection had kept him from reaching out to her.
Carla saw that she used to talk with Tom about what was inside her but she realized that she had quit because she feared he wasn’t
She hadn’t even discussed possible plans with him for after her retirement and she now saw that that could be a chance to connect with him.
They saw that being an invitation to love might look different to each of them but it would point to the same outcome…
A closer, more connected and alive relationship.
What about you?
If you want more love in your life, we urge you to consider what being an irresistible invitation to love might look like in your life.
If you’re with a partner, how can you open to connecting in ways you may not have in quite awhile?
If you’re not with a partner, how can you be an expression of love to the people you come in contact with daily?
For example, Susie was at the grocery store not long ago and in the parking lot, returned her cart to the cart corral.
An elderly man commented that he was happy to see she did that and she smiled at him and chatted for a moment.
He went away and told her how their exchange had made his day.
You never know how your expressions of love will help someone or even change their lives.
Experiment with being an irresistible invitation to love and find out for yourself!