Whether you’ve been with someone for many years or it’s been a relatively short amount of time…
Doubts can certainly creep in that churn up feelings of insecurity about your future together.
Little (or big) red flags can wildly signal “danger.”
And these feelings can keep you in a state of anxiety that actually push the other person away.
In a weird way, here’s a truth to consider that’s been helpful for the two of us…
Every relationship ends.
No, we’re not getting morbid on you or trying to make you more upset about life and your situation!
Believe it or not, there are advantages to knowing your relationship is going to end at some point.
This knowing brings freedom and choice and an end to feeling insecure of your future together.
1. Freedom
When you know that this relationship, like all others, is going to end, there is freedom that comes from staying in the present moment.
When the two of us were first together, our 16 year age difference bothered us for different reasons…
Susie was worried that in 30 years, she’d be an old, wrinkled mess and Otto wouldn’t be attracted to her.
Otto was worried that she would die and leave him before he died.
When we both stopped creating a fearful future that may or may not happen, we saw the truth.
The present moment is really all we have together.
When you live from that idea, there is true freedom and it creates much easier relationships.
There’s gratitude for each moment spent together.
2. Choice
When you know that all relationships end, you have choice.
–You can decide whether you bring love or fear in every moment.
–You can decide what you want your relationship to be.
–You can decide that this relationship isn’t for you.
In our coaching, we’ve talked with many people who worry they’re wasting time in the relationship they’re in or…
They feel like they’ve put so many years in a certain relationship that they don’t have a choice and they have to stay.
But the truth is that thinking you don’t have a choice allows resentment to build.
And resentment breeds contempt which makes for a very difficult life.
When you know you have choice in how you show up in every moment, you can consciously decide what love might mean for yourself and others.
You can drop insecurity about the future and live in the fullness of the present.
If you’ve been “people-pleasing” and trying to keep the peace because you’re afraid of what will happen in the future…
You can relax all that and show up in an authentic and loving way.
When insecurity about your future together creeps in, you can choose to focus on the possibility of the here and now…
And enjoy this moment–and this moment–and this moment.
Even if you have a decision to face, you can allow the answer to come when you have a clear mind not muddled by worry and insecurity.
You can allow love to show you the way.