Over the past few days I’ve been in serious vacation mode and haven’t been seeing coaching clients and haven’t been working on any book or writing projects.
Because of this, Susie and I have spent even more time together than normal and it’s been totally amazing.
The best part has been just how EASY it’s been to be together.
And this got me thinking about the fact that it’s actually WAY easier to create an amazing marriage than it is to create a poor or even mediocre one.
I could do a whole masterclass on this (and I still might) because what people miss is just how much time, effort and energy it takes to create a 49 cent marriage vs the million dollar version.
I mean, it takes a huge amount of effort to be continually on the lookout for all the negative things you can find about your partner when you could just as easily look for and focus on the positive and what’s going well.
It takes a huge amount of effort to play the “win at any cost” superiority/inferiority game with the person you claim to love when you are focused on how much and how often you can make them wrong and you right.
It also takes a huge amount of time, effort and energy(especially emotional energy) to hold back, not talk about what’s important and not allow yourself to be vulnerable.
For many years in previous relationships before getting with Susie, I missed the truth of this.
I missed how important it was to care, really care, about what was going on for that other person in their day and in their life.
I missed how important it was to treat that other person like the important person that they were to me.
What I also missed was the fact that it takes the same (or less) amount of time, effort and energy to make that other person feel totally loved, honored and appreciated as it does the opposite.
I’ve found that it’s really hard work to create a marriage that just makes you miserable.
It’s so much more fun, rewarding and beautiful to create a heart-centered, heart-connected and totally loving marriage than the opposite.
If there’s any part of you that would like to create what I call a “million dollar marriage” instead of settling for less than what’s possible for you…