Every time Suzanne thought about her sister, all the anger and resentment she’d felt over the years came to the surface.
She’d been hurt over and over and could barely tolerate being in the same room with her.
Suzanne knew that it wasn’t healthy for her to hold onto the pain and anger she had but she didn’t know how to stop.
Did she want a new beginning with her sister?
Did she even want to feel love for her again?
Here’s what we know…
Getting stuck in hurt feelings and regurgitating every negative interaction that’s gone wrong in the past keeps the pain alive.
When you see that the hurt feelings come from your perception that this person shouldn’t have said or acted in a certain way…
You can take a step out of focusing on that perception and ask this question…
“How do I want to show up in this situation and with this person?”
When Suzanne asked herself that question, she caught a glimpse beyond the place of “payback” she’d been operating from with her sister.
She’d kept hold of the idea that her sister deserved the coldness that came with their interactions.
But when Suzanne considered the toll holding onto resentment and anger was taking on her…
She decided she could choose to show up with more love for herself and for her sister.
When she saw that every moment was a new beginning, she didn’t have the urge to bring up all the past hurts she’d stored away for years.
Did that mean that she had to listen if her sister started on one of her judgmental rants?
Of course not.
Suzanne saw that if she didn’t buy into what her sister was saying, there was no “hook” or nothing to fight against.
She saw that she could choose love.
She realized that she could lovingly steer the conversation to the present moment and healthier topics when she didn’t get caught in her sister’s drama and way of seeing the world.
She realized that she could show up first and foremost with love for herself as well as love for her sister.