What if you’re limiting your possibilities for love, happiness and success in life without even knowing it?
Whether it’s the conversation going on inside your head or the actual words you speak to someone…
It’s arguing for your limitations–and we all do it.
Here’s how it works…
We tell ourselves something like this…
“I could never do that. I’m not smart enough (or talented enough or whatever limitation you put on yourself)
“He’ll never agree to that so I’m not saying anything!”
“She’ll always hold that against me so why even try!”
“It won’t matter if I do something nice, nothing will change.”
“I should do this to try to keep him (or her) happy but I really don’t want to.”
While these thoughts can come and go, it’s the ones that we believe and act on that keep us stuck and blinded to other possibilities for a happier, healthier life.
A lot of times, we think believing those limiting thoughts will keep us safe or even comfortable and nothing could be further from the truth.
Let’s say things are going along just fine and you make an assumption from the dialogue running in your head about your partner that causes an argument, maybe an ongoing or recurring argument.
The next thing you know you’re at odds for days and you wonder where the passion and connection went.
Or maybe you hold yourself back from doing something like taking art lessons because you don’t think you’re good enough, creative enough or just too old to start something new.
The truth is that all limitations are self-imposed from the rules we make up–often unconscious ones.
Sure–Otto thinks he’ll never dunk a basketball and Susie thinks she’ll never run a marathon but we both realize that there are people who do these things at all ages.
It really comes down to desire, commitment, training and seeing new possibilities.
So the question for you is this…
Do you want to continue to defend and argue for your limited way of seeing yourself or another person in your life?
Here are a few ways to see beyond your limitations…
1. Notice your limiting self-talk
Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself–not to change it but just to notice.
Whenever there’s a “I could never…” or “I can never…” or “My partner will never…” (or anything else that you tell yourself that limits your life) coming up in your awareness…
That’s a signal to pay attention and just notice if that thought is keeping you away from what you want.
2. Know that you do have a choice
At the point of awareness, you have a choice.
You can choose to believe the limiting belief and hold yourself back…
Or you can choose to know that it’s a habitual thought that you don’t have to believe or act on any longer.
You have a choice whether to focus on your partner’s perceived faults or to look for ways to connect.
You don’t have to engage in arguments that are based on assumptions and internal barriers.
You have a choice whether to believe that you can’t do something–or not.
You can choose to experience what you’re feeling, identify the story you’re telling yourself and stop telling it.
3. Recognize that your potential is greater than you can see
When you look beyond what you think is possible, you’ll see a way open to you.
Since the beginning of our relationship, the two of us have had the commitment to look at how we limit ourselves and each other and then open to seeing beyond those limitations.
Sometimes we’re better at it than other times but the commitment remains because of the connection, peace and freedom it brings.