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3 Things That Matter Most (in Love Relationships and Life)

CoupleThe things that matter most in love relationships and life are often ones we ignore or put off until “some day” and never get around to.

What if we told you that a lot of what you think and believe about love, relationships and having the best love (and life) possible is wrong?

We’re not trying to get all negative on you but if you don’t have the love relationship you want… (or the life you want for that matter) then something we can almost guarantee you is…

You are NOT focused on the things that matter most but are instead focused on the things that won’t get you what you want.

How do we know this?

Because we’ve both been in relationships and marriages where we’ve said and done things that took us 180 degrees away from what we wanted.

We’ve both done things in relationships that(in hindsight)we aren’t very proud of…

And we’ve both also made some just plain dumb mistakes that any normal person would know to be just plain wrong.

And you know what the crazy part was?

We did these things anyway because they somehow made sense in the moment and they also gave us some inner feeling that felt good to us at the time.

Almost every man or woman we’ve ever worked with personally in our relationship coaching practice or had a conversation with about how to have a great relationship (or a great life) was invariably doing one or more things that they thought was a good idea…

Something they thought would help them get what they wanted in their love or personal life but…

Something that just seemed to take them further and further away from the love they desired and craved.

So with this in mind, here are three ideas that we’ve discovered that matter most in creating an AMAZING love relationship at any age…

1) Treat your partner like you would treat a beloved who is the most special person on earth.

Most men and women who claim to want their spouses, husbands, wives or lovers to treat them special and LOVE them…

Simply don’t treat their partner like they are truly special and they matter.

Instead, they treat their partner like someone who didn’t much matter to them and would always be there no matter what.

Treating a partner special can be something as simple as what the two of us do each evening when we come together after being apart…

We simply give our full attention to each other, even for a few minutes, because attention translates into “You are important to me” in ways that words may not.

Being “treated special” can mean something different for each of us so the point is to look beyond what you think it might mean.

2) Approach your differences from a “What can I learn from you?” point of view.

We believe that the people we choose to partner with are in our lives to not only share love but also to be our teachers.

It might be to learn how to love ourselves more, to be more compassionate with ourselves and others, or to not be so stuck in our ways that we fail to see another’s point of view.

Every relationship is an opportunity to learn and grow, even if it’s to learn what we don’t want more of and to then make another choice.

When you approach your love relationship in this way, you aren’t so quick to judge but can open to something new.

During our time together, the two of us have looked out onto the world in very different ways and in order to keep our love alive, we’ve had to learn to just get curious when conflicts come up.

And with curiosity comes learning–especially about ourselves as well as our partner.

And with learning comes deeper love and connection.

3) Learn to love yourself and connect with your inner wisdom.

In order to truly love and be loved, the journey starts (and ends) with loving yourself by listening to that still voice within.

When we start to love ourselves more, we’re listening when our body says to slow down and take a rest.

When we start to love ourselves more, we’re being true to what’s inside us instead of pretending to be something other than what and who we are.

When we start to love ourselves more, we’re not caught up in the past but can look to possibilities for our present and future.

And when we love ourselves more, we have so much more love to give others–not only a significant-other but also anyone we come in contact with.

Make choices today for your best love and life possible–because it truly is possible!

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