How to confidently create communication that's open, honest, and emotionally connected...
(Anytime you want, with anyone you want)
In all of the relationship surveys we've conducted over the years, bad communication is one of the top reasons (if not the top reason) why couples break up or get divorced.
And when relationships crash and burn, it's very often because of one of 4 communication mistakes we talk about below.
The question is--How big of a problem is communication in your relationship?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to find out...
- Do you wish you knew the right words to say to your partner or spouse BEFORE you said something that would cause the two of you to become disconnected and even more distant?
- Do you ever struggle to find the right words to say to your partner to explain yourself and your feelings?
- Do you find yourself in the middle of a fight with your partner and you don't know how or why it happened--or what to do about it?
- Do you want to feel more understood by your partner?
- Do you wish your spouse or partner would openly and honestly talk to you and not withdraw?
- Do you wish you could "Stop Talking On Eggshells" and feel like you could say anything to your partner without fear of what they were thinking, what they might say or how they might react?
- Do you wish your partner followed through on what they said they would do?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, communication is definitely a problem in your relationship and believe us--you are not alone.
We know because we've been there ourselves...
Hi, it's Susie and Otto Collins and we're happily married Relationship coaches and authors.
If you feel like your relationship is suffering because you can't communicate...
You've come to the right place.
We've know how hard it can be to try to get your partner to understand your point of view when all you're doing is fighting, putting each other down or shutting each other out.
We know because we've been there in our previous marriages as well as in our marriage.
Before we got together, the two of us had been in marriages to other people that lasted for many years. After divorcing from our previous spouses, we found each other and discovered that our love was deeper and we were more connected than we ever had been in our previous relationships.
Since we could honestly say that we made just about every communication mistake there was in those previous relationships, we were determined not to make those same mistakes in our shiny, new relationship.
The truth is that we DID make those mistakes (and more) and it could have cost us our relationship if we hadn't been so determined to learn how to communicate for lasting love, to practice what we learned and then teach it to others.
Susie remembers when Otto's "tone of voice" triggered feelings of not being good enough inside her--and as a result, she became defensive and what he called "controlling." Then he'd get defensive and angry--rebelling against being "controlled."
Otto remembers feeling like he couldn't win an argument, just like with his previous wife and this went on and on.
Well you get the idea that it wasn't a pretty picture--and very damaging to our relationship.
With a lot of study, practice and trial and error, we've learned what to do to not get so defensive when our partner says or does something that triggers us so we can stay open to one another.
We've learned which words and phrases to say that open our partner instead of pushing him or her away--and which words help to regain our deep connection with one another.
We know that communication can make or break a relationship and we want you to benefit from what we've learned and practice everyday so you can have the love you've always wanted as well.
The truth is that we all make communication mistakes and if you can catch these mistakes early as you're about to make them, your communication will improve and you'll feel closer and more connected.
Over the past 17 years of studying, trying ideas out in our own marriage (falling down and getting back up again) and teaching about how to create a close, connected, loving and passionate relationship, we've discovered that there are six common communication mistakes that either make or break a relationship...
To give you a taste of what we mean, here are 4 big communication mistakes that you may be making right now, along with our suggestions for creating great communication..
4 BIG Communication Flops that kill love, passion and connection (faster than anything) and how to avoid them...
Communication Flop #1 You Do What We Call-- "Talking On Eggshells..."
Most people don't realize this but one of the biggest reasons intimacy breaks down is NOT conflict but rather it's AVOIDING the conflict. In our work, we call this "talking on eggshells"--and if you're going to create a closer connection, you have to stop doing it.
"Talking on eggshells" is when you're afraid to say what you're feeling because of your partner's reaction.
The two of you haven’t learned how to stop when there’s a problem and calmly look at it together and figure out how to resolve the issue without getting defensive and moving into gridlock.
We think of it as staying clean with each other: no withholds, no half-truths, no drama, just honestly thinking and talking it through.
Most people get fearful of what their partner might say, do or how they might react if they speak their truth and tell them what they really think or how they really feel. So they don't.
Holding back only creates resentment but you have to learn how to say it so your partner listens and understands.
Caution: Most people who decide they've "had it" with "talking on eggshells" and want to start exercising their personal power very often make another BIG communication mistake--they go overboard with their intention to "speak their truth" no matter what and actually become hostile, belligerent and un-cooperative.
This also does more harm than good to your relationship as you can imagine.
Communication Flop #2 Using Words That Kill the Love and Spark Instead of Words That Pull You Closer...
Many people are oblivious to the words they use (as well as their tone of voice) and don't realize that these words and phrases are said from habit (and past experiences) and are damaging their relationships.
Believe it or not, there are "magic" words and phrases that create closeness and connection--and there are words and phrases that push the two of you apart.
Take for instance a phrase that many of us use without thinking (that actually comes off as demanding and controlling) when we want to get our partner to do something or act in a specific way...
"You (or we) need to do _______"
Otto had a coaching client recently who said this to his wife in a coaching session and Otto pointed out to him that this was a statement not the question he thought it was.
In using those words, the man was assuming his partner wanted to do the same thing he wanted.
She didn't. In fact, she felt like she didn't have any say in what was being discussed and that her thoughts weren't important. Even if that wasn't this man's intention, that's the meaning his words conveyed.
On the surface, this seems like such a small, inconsequential thing but it isn't.
When communicating with your beloved (or anyone else in your life) you want to avoid using any words or language that kills openness and connection.
This man didn't do that.
Communication Flop #3 Making WRONG Assumptions Instead of Finding Out What Your Partner Really Thinks, Feels or Wants...
One of the biggest problems couples face, especially when they've been together for many years, is that they know everything there is to know about their partner. They drift into thinking they have nothing to say to one another except asking and answering logistical questions about their everyday lives--like "Can you pick up Sally at 5 today?"
They assume they know what their partner thinks, feels or wants when they really don't.
When this happens, boredom, distance and discontent seep into the relationship and one or both people wonder "Is this all there is?"
This kind of relationship is ripe for cheating and affairs but it doesn't have to be this way.
Our "5 Minute Magic" technique is a quick and easy way to get your partner to open up and willingly talk to you about what's important to them instead of just "going through the motions" in your relationship.
One part of the "5 Minute Magic" technique is to ask what we call "one question deeper."
In most people's intimate relationship, they let precious opportunities slip by to find out more about how their partner thinks and feels.
They instead, rush on to try to fix him or her--or even worse, tell them something about themselves and ignore what their partner just revealed.
What you want to do is communicate in loving, open ways that help your partner stay open to you and at the same time help both of you to feel respected and loved.
Asking questions from an open, loving place and going "one question deeper" than you normally would ask is a great way to find out more about what's going on in them and help the two of you get closer and feel much more connected.
Communication Flop #4 Getting Controlling and Manipulative to Try to Get the Love You Want Instead of "Getting Curious" or "Staying Open"...
One of the strangest phenomenon of relationships is how we try to manipulate or change the people we say we love.
We mistakenly think, "things would be so much better if they were only more like me" or "things would be so much better if they would do things the way I want..."
And then, in the name of love, we develop a whole variety of really interesting (and sometimes not-so-healthy) ways to manipulate, guilt-trip and persuade others to give us what we want even if it isn't necessarily what they want.
We do this and then we wonder why they "push back," rebel or resist opening to and loving us.
If you or your partner are accused of being controlling or manipulative, one way to get out of that communication minefield is switching your attention to being curious and open to what they want as well as what you want.
Most of us get controlling and manipulative when we don't think we have a choice in the situation, we think our partner won't do as we want and we think we won't get our way. When you commit to staying open and curious, your partner stays open and you both have choice.
Here's what you might not know...
When you stop doing the mistakes we just talked about and start doing what will bring you more of what you want, the possibilities for more love and deeper connection will be there.
When you begin experiencing the kind of deep, profound love that we know is possible for you, you'll start to think it's magic.
In fact, when some people begin making the shifts in their communication that we're talking about, they start to think that perhaps a "Miracle" may have happened to them.
You'll Call it a Miracle...
- When you and your partner start to talk openly and honestly when you've been shut down for years.
- When you start to feel heard, appreciated and understood (maybe for the first time ever)
- When you're able to say what's in your heart and your partner listens when they didn't use to.
- When you and your partner actually have fun together again.
- When the words you use help you and your partner come to an agreement instead of fighting.
- When you and your partner feel more romantic toward one another than you have for a long time.
If being able to have the kinds of miracles we just talked about happen in your relationship or marriage appeals to you--then get our brand new program we just created that gives you ALL of our best communication secrets and strategies all in one place...
The "Communication Magic Toolkit" is your roadmap for communicating, connecting and creating a lifetime of love.
We've taken 8 of our most powerful programs and combined them into one toolkit to give you the best strategies ever created for improving communication and connecting at a heart, mind and soul level.
Download the "Communication Magic Toolkit" now and here's what you'll get...
Magic Relationship Words program
This includes our best-selling book and two audios.
When you order the "Communication Magic and Miracles Toolkit," you also get this...
Magic Relationship Words That Build or Rebuild Trust audio recordings...
How To Stop Talking On Eggshells ebook and audio program
This includes our book and four audios.
You're also getting...
"Stop Talking On Eggshells " audios-- 4 recordings that include two "Stop Talking On Eggshells At Home and At Work" audios, the "Relationships and Money" and "7 Intimacy Secrets" recordings
500 Communication Tips and Secrets book
Also included in this program are:
77 Dumb Things Couples Say That Kill Passion & Love
5 Minute Magic Technique audio
How To Get Your Partner, Spouse or Lover
Stop The Bleeding audio program and action guide
7 Keys To Getting Your Partner To Listen To You audio program
This program includes two audios.
How to Talk About Touchy Subjects audio program
This program includes two audios and an action guide.
Here are just a few of the things you'll learn with our "Communication Magic Toolkit"...
- The communication mindset you must adopt if want more openness, love and understanding between you and your partner
- How you can stay connected or intimate with your partner even during arguments or misunderstandings
- How to tell the truth in a way that is kind and helpful instead of upsetting or destructive--even when it's difficult
- How to deal with a partner who is controlling and sees no reason to change
- How to sustain and nurture open communication so that both you and your partner are growing in your own unique journey of life while living in partnership and as a team
- 8 things to pay attention to in order to make sure your words match your desired outcome
- How to start a conversation in a way that shows your partner you're open to listening and talking about solutions to problems or challenges rather than blaming and criticizing--doing this will feel so much better to both you and your partner
- The best words to say and use when you want or need to set boundaries or make requests
- One word you shouldn't say to your partner (or anyone else) when you are making a request of them and the one word you should say instead
- A breakthrough question you can use to start out a conversation with your partner that shows without a doubt that you value their opinion--when you ask this with curiosity and an open heart, your partner can't help but shift too and begin to value your opinion more as well
- The one thing you should always ask someone before you offer any kind of advice--this makes sure you are honoring them and you're also not doing something they don't want
- The most important thing you should eliminate from your relationship today if you want more love, romance and spark between you and your partner
- 3 ways any woman can motivate her guy's inner romantic and when to use each of these three tools for maximum impact on him
- How to encourage your partner to not only think about you and your love more often but also show love and devotion to you as much you want
- How to invite your partner to open up to you and talk to you about anything
- How you can feel more understood and appreciated (almost overnight)
- How to have more trust and connection between the two of you
- The 4 reasons why almost all communication challenges happen and what you can do to make sure they don't turn into even bigger relationship problems
- Communication strategies for stopping the constant tug of war over how to deal with issues like where to spend the holidays, what to spend money on and why, raising the kids, how often to have sex and who should initiate it
- The right way and the wrong way to be honest--one builds connection and trust, the other destroys it
- How to use your differences to bring you together instead of tear you apart
- How to make difficult conversations easy
- And Much More...
How to tell if this "Communication Magic Toolkit" is for you..
What we're offering here is a breakthrough program on how to communicate, connect and create a lifetime of love.
The communication tips, ideas, insights and strategies are absolutely cutting edge. NO ONE else is teaching the kinds of proven, practical, real world, tried and tested communication ideas that you'll find in this toolkit.
If you want to learn the secrets to communicating and getting a spouse, partner or lover to open to you, communicate with ease and love and free of drama and conflict--then you'll love the things we share in this toolkit.
This program will require you to put forth a little effort but with what you'll learn about how to communicate, you'll be able to take a HUGE shortcut to communicating and connecting (or reconnecting), with even the most cold, distant and withdrawn partner.
If you want to break through any blocks, barriers or limitations that may be holding you back from communicating with the love of your life--then THIS "Communication Magic & Miracles Toolkit" of ours is for you.
If you are open to some new ideas and trying a few new things that you may not have tried before, then this program is certainly for you.
On the other hand, if you don't have the connection that you truly want, you've decided to give up on making things better and be content to do nothing differently--then you should probably pass on this program and continue doing what you've been doing that hasn't seemed to have worked for you as well as you've liked.
Love doesn't have to die...
We have a very simple belief about love, romance and relationships that is radically different from most people that we hope you'll embrace, even a little bit.
If you do, we think it could change your relationships and life forever.
This belief is that love, passion, romance and the spark NEVER has to die in your relationship or marriage.
When you do these things that we'll teach you in our "Communication Magic Toolkit," here's what's possible...
Just for fun, we think it might be helpful for you to ask yourself which of these things you'd like to happen in your relationship or marriage...
♥ Communication gets easier
♥ Walls and defenses come down
♥ Conflicts get solved
♥ Jealousy goes away
♥ Affairs and cheating stop
♥ Openness and honesty become the "rule" and not the exception
♥ Trust gets rebuilt
♥ Romance gets rekindled
♥ Love gets deeper and stronger
♥ The fun comes back
♥ The spark gets reignited
♥ You feel more heard and listened to
♥ You feel more understood and appreciated
♥ You turn from being strangers into lovers again
♥ The passion, intimacy and sex gets hotter and more frequent
♥ You feel more adored, desired and cherished
One of the biggest reasons why all this happens in some relationships and not others is because some couples practice these ideas we're talking about in our "Communication Magic Toolkit" almost all the time and other couples don't and that's not all...
Couples who do these things we're talking about feel like they can talk to each other about ANYTHING...
And they Do.
The term we like to use for couples like these is "close and connected."
What's great about this is that you and your partner, spouse or lover will be MUCH closer and more connected when you use what we teach you in this program.
We believe that there are some very simple things that you can do to communicate in more loving ways that keep the love, passion, romance and spark alive forever.
It's time for you to start getting more of the love, passion and connection that you want.
That's why we urge you to take advantage of this special offer now while it's still available.
Here's what we know about you...
If you've read this far, we're thinking that you're someone who really is interested in more from your relationship than you have right now and you're willing to be open to some new ideas to create something better.
Are we right?
We think so and if you're finally ready to start using these new ideas we've been talking about and start communicating to connect--pulling your partner closer, opening their heart with your new ways of communicating--then here's what you're going to want to do...
Download our complete "Communication Magic Toolkit" now and start going through the information right away.
This will be like having us whispering in your ear and coaching you on the right things to say and do to communicate and connect when it counts the most.
Now is the perfect time to take advantage of the fact that we've spent years putting together the best collection of communication tools, tips, ideas and strategies that you'll find anywhere, along with easy instructions on how to use them and apply them in your relationship and life.
To get this program at this incredibly low price, you must act now
The value of everything you're getting in our "Communication Magic Toolkit" is
$397 but you're going to get it for a one time charge of only $197.00 or you can make 3 payments of $65.67 (your choice).
The most important thing is that you click the big "ADD To Cart Button" below to get your copy of this program right now...
Plus, if you order now, we'll also include these incredible bonuses absolutely FREE...
Bonus #1 -- "21 Words, Phrases and Sentences to NEVER Say To Your Partner, Spouse or Lover"-- In this special downloadable bonus in .pdf format, we're giving you a list of 21 of our top words and phrases to NOT say to your partner if you want to have a close and connected relationship filled with love, respect and kindness.
Bonus #2--"10 Communication Mistakes Most People Make In Their Relationships and What They Can Do To Fix Them" -- This special report by Susie and Otto contains the master keys on how to start improving communication now with everyone in your life. This 21 page downloadable special report is in pdf format.
Warning: This "Communication Magic Toolkit" package that includes the books, the audios and terrific bonuses is not available in stores anywhere. The only place you can get it is here on our web site.
Because this is a downloadable package, you can be reading the information and listening to the audios within minutes.
60 Day 100% No-Risk Guarantee
Your satisfaction is assured through our no risk, you-can't-lose, 100%, no questions-asked money-back guarantee. If for any reason, you aren't completely satisfied with your purchase, just let us know within 60 days and we'll refund 100% of your purchase price.
Click the "add to cart" button below to download the complete "Communication Magic Toolkit" now... and you'll be on your way to creating instant breakthroughs in your communication, not only with your partner or spouse-- but the other people in your life as well.
Our best to you,
Susie and Otto Collins
P.S. Remember, this "Communication Magic Toolkit" is not available in stores anywhere. It's only available as a downloadable package here on our web site.
Don't put it off. Order now and you'll be taking that all important first step towards knowing exactly how to communicate, connect and create a lifetime of love.
Susie & Otto's Success Stories and Rave Reviews