Ok…The holidays are just around the corner and you’re going to be with family, friends and people who can trigger you big time.
You want to enjoy the day, keep your sanity, not say or do something that would ruin everything and *If* you get lucky…
You can actually create a miracle or two and create closer and more connected relationships with your loved ones.
So, how do you do it?
Here are 10 Tips that can get you almost to “miracle status” with the relationships you have with the people in your life this holiday season…
(We repeat these to ourselves before any holiday gathering and it’s a great reminder about what’s important–which is connection!)
Enjoy.
1) Just because someone says something wrong or something stupid (according to you)doesn’t mean you have to let them know about it.
2) Don’t try to change anyone. Just because you see how your way or your approach to life is WAY better…doesn’t mean they’ll think so. If you see a way you can help someone else, ask if they’d be open to a suggestion instead of blurting out the errors of their ways.
3) Instead of making someone wrong because they are so different from you, instead of asking the question, “You’re so different from me, how can I change you?”…
Ask yourself this question, “They are so different from me, what can I learn from them?”
We’ve had hundreds of relationship miracles happen by shifting this question.
4) Kindness matters. If you have the choice, and you always have the choice, choose kindness.
5) Come to your holiday gatherings with an open heart VS a closed one. You get to choose how you are going to be in every single moment. Choosing to be “open” instead of closed” is something that is palpable in a room. People can feel it. Whether you are “open” or “closed” can greatly affect whether others are open or closed. Let’s go with “open.” That’s a MUCH better choice.
6) Take a breath. Breathe. Count to ten. Slow down your thoughts. If that doesn’t work, do it again…and again…until it does work.
7) Be a good finder. If you will only look for it, you can always find something good, something interesting or something positive about that other person. Look for the good. Appreciate that person.
8) Be curious instead of condemning. Loving instead of righteous. Good-humored instead of angry. These are great starting places to come from in all your interactions. And again, these “places to come from” are all choices you can make in every moment.
9) Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all.
And finally…
10) Fill yourself with such an amount of love (before you attend any gathering) that you won’t need to get your needs for love met by others. When you do this, there’s no hidden agenda to get your needs met. If you do this, you may be amazed by how much love you do get sent your way when you aren’t “giving to get.”
BONUS TIP:
Smile. Even if you don’t want to. Smile anyway. Make it warm. Genuine. Honest. When you smile, others will notice and that energy will affect everyone you interact with.
Final Note: We’re working on these right along with you. We’re setting judgments about others AND about ourselves at the door. It’s much better that way.
If you’d like some fresh ideas about how to handle a specific situation that maybe has happened in the past or you are afraid will happen…
Contact us here