One thing is for sure–Dating can be scary, unknown territory, especially in midlife, after the age of 50. Susie was divorced in her 30th year of marriage and she had no clue what was happening on the senior dating scene or even how to go about it.
For us, our love happened quickly and Susie wasn’t ever actually on the dating scene–and we have been very happy together ever since.
But in our years of coaching many people who find themselves either single again in their 40’s or 50’s or considering the possibility, we have come to some observations about senior dating.
We’ve recently read a great book by Gail Sheehy called, “Sex and the Seasoned Woman” which is a must-read for any person–male or female–entering the “dating scene” in midlife. The book is full of stories from real men and women who tell about their experiences, not only about dating but about finding passion for life again.
One thing was very clear from the book, as well as what we’ve learned from our clients…
If you have either left a long-term marriage or you are the one who has been left, take some time to get to know yourself first before launching into dating. Chances are if you have been in a long-term relationship and it has ended, you may not know who you are now that you are no longer a couple and in that relatinship.
Now’s the time to discover where your true passion lies. It might be in a hobby that you didn’t have time for. It might be something that you’ve been thinking about doing as a vocation for a long time but haven’t had the courage to disrupt your life to pursue it. Now’s the time to find your passion!
In Sheehy’s book, she talks about three types of passion that midlifers are finding: a passionate relationship, work that brings them passion, and a passion and rekindling in their spiritual life.
We’re saying that while investigating online senior dating services might be important for you to do, before you do that, re-discover yourself and find out what you want in your life now. Remember, your life is not over unless you decide that it is.
Many men and women have found themselves single in midlife and have created happy, loving lives again–whether they found that “perfect” someone or have created a full new life in a new profession with a circle of friends. They have looked forward to what they want rather than what they left behind and have found renewed vitality and love. It is a choice and it’s up to you.
If you need help moving on from a relationship breakup or divorce, check out “How to Heal Your Broken Heart” before you start dating again.